Okay, otay, I am talking about anal sex again. See the post waay way back about my friend Stupida.  Wonder why? Ahh the anus. Have many a gay men be in on a good thing all these centuries? It is the only thing that should remain tight until you die. It has an uncanny way of retaining its shape for many years to come, unlike your punnie (well mine is tight, how about your’s??). Not that I spent any time last night procuring down that rabbit hole or any gerbils going near it (sorry Richard Gere). But, I just had a thought. Forgot the vaseline; which you should not be using anyway cause it will aid in the breaking of the condom open more quicker than you can say-FLYTRAP. Or that you need to down a few shots of whisky or rye; whatever you are into .  But, what if you just took your time? I think that people should ease their way into it for it to be doable. Didn’t Diana Ross sing with Micheal in the Wiz-”Come on and ease on down the road”.What’s the rush? Well here are a few tried and true pointers (Viewer discretion is advised):

1. First of all things get into position-DUH!

2. Then have him take his head (not on top; the one down there) and start to just slowly rim the surface. It makes for a nice tingly feeling all over. And a few chuckles.  Through in a few moans for him. No screams cause I assure you it may or may not come later if you do or do not do this right.

3. Now most couples and porn stars just ram it in. Don’t! Never ram it in. Not that you and your partner would ever think of tender tissues or bleeding at this moment. And although this makes for easier doo-dooing the next five days. Why? Anyhu, insert the head ever slowly, talk dirty for awhile then spend time insert each 1/2 inch (or less depending what you are working with) in it. SLOWLY, that is the operative word. It’s almost like the other night when I was trying to ease the champagne cork out of the bottle. It took almost five minutes. but the thing eventually came out. And although I was frustrated I knew that with patience I would be tasting sweet wine.

4. It’s now about five minutes in…you shouldn’t even have the whole thing in. Not even half of the penis. I mean the most important part (the head) is in and that is where all the nerves worth noting are located. So he can still feel a lot of pleasure going back and forth slowly without causing you any further pain. I think that a  lot of times that men watch those porn movies and think that those girls are enjoying it as they put it in full on. But, you have to remind them that nuff of those girls are use to a lot of bone and their holes are use to nuff access. This is real life with real life people. Nuff said.

5. Now about another few moments of titilation on his part he may try to put it more-but only if you can handle it. By no means do not go further if you cannot manage it. And do not let him reach and caress your breasts cause then in goes his penis rammed up your buttocks. He had no choice-his penis was in the way. Move on to somethingelse.  That is what they have sexual positions for.

The moral of the story is my pets-do not let a man tear you a new asshole. Never. That is why GOD invented fibre.  And as I sign off always remember that it is the crazy people who have the good pills. Ciao, Lucresia

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