My last post I talked about toilet paper. And I remembered this funny story. Once my dad gave me ten dollars to buy toilet paper (this is after he kept yelling from the bathroom for five whole minutes, for someone to go to the store). The idea was he would sit on the throne and wait, while I ran across the street to get the paper.

So, as I walked to the store I was contemplating how was I going to afford the new Vogue (that just came out) AND toilet paper. So when I arrived at the supermarket, I noticed that there was this new type of toilet paper. It was recycled (never you mine how faaaar baaack this was, but I was a teen and recycled paper was yet to reach the masses). It looked like toilet paper, was the same colour as toilet paper, had the same weight as toilet. But, the price was not like toilet paper! At, $3.99 for a pack of twenty-four, it was damn cheap!!!

So, I figure a little for the taxes and I was on my way to Vogueville.

I ran home, with my Vogue hidden in my underwear (don’t ask, another whole story to come soon) and I promptly open and gave my dad the roll.

As I flicked through the magazine, I heard my father cussing and calling my name. When I went downstairs, he was telling my mama that I bought toilet paper that was so rough that he wanted he wanted her to check his ass for splinters!!

My word!

Then he demanded the change back cause he knew that the cheap toilet paper could not have cost so much. I tried to point out to him that he got twenty-four rolls for such a great bargain. He accosted me back by saying that he worked hard all day for his money and he should be able to come home something soft to wipe his ass.

My mom was trying so hard not too laugh and I begged off quickly so that he wouldn’t remember to ask about what I did with the rest of the change.

So, possums, the moral of the story is that if my father’s ass has green principles; your’s should too!

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