I was looking at the pics of the singer Cassie spread out literally on a bed in a hotel room. And I thought to myself,” Are Clit Accessories over-rated?” Don’t ask me why am I looking at them again. It is not as if I saved them on my computer to refer to them time and time again to drive a point home to myself.

It is just a for instance.

I never had my clitoris pierced. And as of right now do I think,  at this point I may never will. What would my mother and sister think about me. I can’t even picture my great Jewish grandmother with one. My mother threw a hissy fit when she saw for the first time my several tattoos. I know that I would have to share one of my Demerol pills for this one.

But, how would I address her:

“Mom, I have something to tell you-I have a clit ring!” (Show her pill HERE)

“Mom, you won’t believe what some friends did to me as they held me down!” (Show her pill HERE and the book-Is Your Child Bi-Sexual?)

“Mom and Dad you remember when you told me that the time I walked in on you both while you were doing it was really,really bad… well I have something that is way worse!”(Call the Paramedics here…for two)

“Mom, I went to the local jewelery store, fell in love with this ring  and this is the only size it came in!” (BINGO!)

“Mom, I have something to show you…LOOKSEY HERE!!!” (Lifting up my skirt, loves it!!).

Unlike, Miss Cassie, I think I have some very grave concerns though:

His Teeth-You know that I could not bear having the light on while doing it. So you know that he/she is definitely going to get their saber-toothed tiger all up in my mix! How would I explain that to the intake nurse at the EMERG? I don’t think there is a little box labeled-torn clit on the insurance paper. How would I tell the doctor? I shudder to think that I might have the same fate as Richard Gere and the gerbil in the butt.

Gold and/or Silver Wearing Off-You know that as a Black Cuban-Jamaican I am all about jewels, accessories et all. I don’t mind buying fake pieces, if they look right, but I would hate for the colour to wear down and tarnished. If it did, nothing would match any more. As you know that I would spend a fortune on getting gold lingerie to match my new gold clitoris ring! I have seen the hypo-allergenic ones they have at the store. Passe! I guess if I do decided I will have to get it custom made. I guess I then could add one or two small rhinestones.

Thrusting-Again, the whole thought of leaving the light on and then even when the light is on, he never sticks it in all the time properly. You would think that I need a bull’s eye picture down there! Then I would have to reach down and grab the penis and guide it in. Anyways, I do feel a tiny bit better that if he misses my hole, he may end up with a snag himself from the ring. At least then we can stay in bed and nurse each other back to health.

My Vibrator- Will it work with vibrators? Can you start a fire? Can’t all that rubbing ignite something?

Expensive Dry-Cleaning Bill- I will now have to have all my undies laundered because I heard somewhere that dry cleaning eventually breaks down the fibers of clothing over time. Actually, I think that my mother said this to me, so that I would not run up their dry-cleaning bill growing up.

Update: I think I will just get it for myself. Not, only if sometimes you get bored and you want something to play with, cause honey I DO get bored sometimes…and you know how I do. But, that I can have fun taking pictures of myself. I only now have to decide if I want to add any hair accessories?

Luv, L

P.S. Lastly, as I am finishing this post off to you possums, I have to ask, “Who in the hell took this pic of Cassie! I can’t picture her setting up her camera at the perfect angles in order to capture this. It must have been Diddy! She does look worst for wear…and wet!

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