What is a Curveball?

According to Wikipedia.org:

“When throwing a curve, the pitcher creates a downspin by rolling his or her palm and fingers over the top of the ball while releasing it. The direction of the break depends on the axis of spin on the ball. There are many variations of the curveball, but most are described in terms of their movement when superimposed on a clock.
The spin of a curveball moves in the opposite direction. This spin causes a curveball to “break”, or drop down and sweep horizontally as it approaches home plate, thus frustrating the batter.

Exactly.

Whatever.

When I think of anything to do with balls, I think of the penis, cause that’s how I do.But, what happens when the penis shows signs of curving?

I remember when Stupida told me about…let’s call him Pipps. Well, eventually after the customary days of dating and phone calls, the relationship started to get hot and heavy. While on the phone, Pipps mentioned to Stupida that he had a curve. He meant his penis. While, she thought to herself, “why would he bring up the fact that he owned the Blackberry Curve in the middle of phone sex”?

Then Stupida met the penis.

The penis was one of those skinny ones that reminded her of a cooking spoon-slim all the way up and the top had all the substance. She also notice that it kind of smelled like pine trees, but then he did live with his mother and it could have been Pine Sol, the cleaning agent. What did strike her the most about the penis was the fact that it had a serious bend to it. Now it wasn’t curled up like a sufi slipper. It was more like a pasta spoon…without the holes and claws.

“Are you sure that it just wasn’t the way he laid on the bed?” I said.

“Nope, it’s curved,” she said.

“Are you sure it wasn’t the lighting in the bedroom?  Lighting has a way of casting a weird shadow on such things,” I said.

“No, it’s curved,” she replied.

“Even, when he stands up?” I asked.

“Hold on a second,” she replied, “yep, it is definitely curved!”

“Girl, are you actually in his house right now!” I scream.

“Yes, and I have to go because he is getting suspicious…”she whispers.

“Ya, think? Just flush the toilet and tell him that dinner gave you the runs. Bye nerd,” I said before I hung up.

Later, Stupida told me that not only working on this type of penis was hard, but that she received a mysterious yeast infection too.

Maybe it wasn’t Pine Sol after all.

So possums, what is the best way to have sex with such a penis? I don’t think that one should mount it at all. It can be extremely painful if you try to hop on it. Sex should never feel like a pap smear! And don’t forget the possible slippage in between thrusts. In midst of passion, he can ram that mother back in, which for him is all good, but why does a 16^th century jousting pole come to mind? Ouch!

I think the missionary is probably the best.  You can actually grab down and insert it in a way that is comfortable to you. Kind of like a living and breathing tampon. If you do it from behind, he may be tilted too far to the left and you to the right and from a fly’s position on the wall, you both look like arrows on a compass! I feel with a curved penis if it is enter from behind and juts you in the ass or the vagina too harshly he will be to far away to slap him! And I guess this will all depend how big you booty is.

Sometimes possums, I wish that there was a meat tenderizer for the penis; then you can shape it any way you want.

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