Possums, have you seen my thighs?

They maybe be thick and strong, but not necessarily flexible. I can’t even get one of them over my head. And even when I do position no. 21 of a well-thumbed sex position book; my breasts sometimes gets in the way of even seeing my partner, let alone the ceiling.  But, I always wanted to know how to make love on a lazy-boy. So in the name of research, I tagged along with my friend to find out if can be done. If you are lost, you can read about our fiasco here in choosing one.

http://lucresialinton.com/2009/08/02/how-to-make-love-on-a-barcalounger-part-one/

Although, he tried to connive me into trying it with him (it wouldn’t work out anyways, I don’t like to shit where I eat)!

Here are some tips I discovered from me to you:

Cushions anyone?- Nothing beats the feeling of making love on such soft and glorious cushions. I now know how a caterpillar feels while it is in the cocoon. Trust me, there is nothing like it!

They don’t put a lever there for Just for Convenience- The up and down control seems easy enough to use. It just makes the thing go up and down. A quick note though, make sure that you know what you are doing, cause it can close up in a  u-shape and all of the sudden you are the insides of a taco! Not that it has happen to me before. It is just a for instance.

The Remote Control Rest-Try not to get your foot stuck in there, possums. Although, it does come in handy when you need extra leverage during the riding position. Then it becomes like a nice saddle for you. Giddy up!

The Greatest Love of All-Do it from behind, for sure. It is easy on his knees and your neck and back. And he will have to do all the work, while you lay your head on a pillow and enjoy.

Use A Towel-Do you ever notice that it is either Grandpa or the free-loading friend that always puts their ass in your favorite chair? You may have to invest heavily into a shampoo vacuum or you can rent one from your local supermarket.  You know what scratch that!  Not using a towel maybe a good thing.  It will keep their ass out of your love machine…I mean chair.

Vibrating control-Do I really need to say more. Yes please!

NOTE: Lastly, try not to rock this baby too hard. It may look big and secure, but if there is no wall behind you; then it slowly inches its way across the room and then…

WHAMMO!

You are on the floor. And you are this way and his penis went that a way. And then you both start arguing that you should have used the helmet as extra protection like she said in the first place, cause she didn’t go to university for nothing and he dropped out of college although his parents paid for it! Not that this has happened to me.

It is just a for instance.

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