So I gave up smoking.

Which was becoming my favorite thing to do.

And I am not happy about it!

Who knew that such a small stick in my mouth could bring me such pleasure!

Who also knew that it would take my physical coming up with the insurance company to make me finally stop!

Do you think it will clear out of my system soon? It is not like they can check if there is any smoke residue in my urine, can they? If this is true, then there are going to be a whole bunch of sad people in my family and their ganga dealers will be upset too!!

Not that I ever smoked ganga.

It is just a for instance!

So I have gone back to my favorite past-time that I can always rely on-cleaning.

I was scrubbing away at my greasy ass stove when I started to think about food and surprisingly this time not the lack of it. It is all about the spiritual cleanse. Some say that when you are lighter you can hear your inner voice more clearly. Those teachers were definitely in the know.  Yoga wasn’t the only thing that made them thinner, it was their diet. Leafy greens, lean meats and fruits will do that to you. Maybe, I could just do a skinnier healthier guy, instead? Non?  I guess that’s why we are encourage to eat light in order to clear our head before we make decisions.

Looking through my cupboard I could see so much carbs I took in! It is obscene! The boxes of Jos. Louis, the Stouffer’s Ready Made Scalloped Potatoes, the cans of gravy, macaroni and the many bags of pasta. To think that all of this time, I was drowning in sugar with every bite!

When I was finally finished my cupboard was practically bare. When I looked down at the plastic bag, there was so much food!

With a new cupboard, I need new recipes to fall back on. All the sudden I am into cooking shows. There is one show (I won’t mention her name), but she is a dead ringer for a bobble head! Her body is so pin-thin! It makes me wonder if she eats any of her own Italian cooking! I bet she spits it out when the cameras are off!

Know who I like? Ms. Paula Dean!

The creams, the sugars, the butters, and her cute sons, I love it all and want more of it, please and thank-you! I wish that veggie cooking could be that delightful, but it is not. Not even when I squint my eyes and “accidentally” put some regular mayo and a large packet of butter on them, it still does not do the trick for me.

But, I digress.

Ms. Dean, is one beeyotch I can relate too! I am sorry, but I call most women beeytoches. This is how I do. If you don’t like, then read elsewhere… just don’t tell my mother, or my brother or sister that I have a website!

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