Oh, possum, it is getting chillier at night. And soon I will be wearing my UGG boots at my desk. Ugg!
But, yet, I shall not lie, it is the only time I like something fuzzy on me.

Fuzzy boot, yes. Fuzzy men, no.

I was looking at my biological father the other day. The man can cut a very defining figure when he is ready. When he goes out he likes to grab his camel coat and his matching brown fedora hat, with a nice navy trim. And always with the Burberry scarf that I gave him. Even when he is called to pick up someone at 3AM, the man will throw his tried and true “costume”, if you will, on over his pajamas.

I think he is a dying breed.

He says he picked up his dressing from the gay men in England back in the 60’s. He said that they had to play “straight” in order to save their hind. But, according to him, they always stood out because they had a style that was so high street that not even regular men could buy into it. No matter how hard they tried.

What amused me was he told me that these men on the down low would dress their wives, as well. Heaven forbid, their wives looked dreadful! They had to look good, if not better than them. And they used to parade them around parties to their friends. Make them trot around and these women would think that their husbands were doting on them, which made them forget about their diminishing sex life.

My father said that sometimes they would have small, somewhat heated discussions about what wife wore what better and were did one get one’s wife’s hair done and what jeweler made something special for that night.

And I got to thinking about the other Dapper Dans in my life and around me that could teach a thing or two to other men on what is important in putting a look together. But, please note, this is not for the lazy! If you have blood in your veins, so should you have the following fashion in your blood:
The Suit and/or Vest-Well cut. Well made. Well said.

The Tie, the Bow Tie and the Skinny Tie- I was at a christening party the other day and my cousin’s man wore a gorgeous light blue tie with a vest and pin-striped shirt. So Ralph Lauren. And you know that took a lot for me to say, since we are not feeling Mr. Ralph so much these days (http://lucresialinton.com/2009/10/15/i-applaud-people-for-calling-this-out/). The tie is one of the first things the eye catches. It should be memorable, without giving one nightmares or flashbacks of really bad Christmas presents. Be subtle. Cheesy patterns scream Mamma’s boy. You don’t have to go all out to impress your momma by wearing an ugly tie. You have a job. That is impressive enough!

The Classic Watch- Too many men rely on their Blackberries for the time. Masturbation should not be the only time you bring your wrist up in a curve. I know that you are wearing a watch, use it!

Socks-Must be silk or at least silk-looking. ‘Til this day, my dad (the one that raised me I call dad the one that was the sperm donor,biological one, I call father) still wears silk socks. I have never ever ever seen him wear gym socks. Not even on a Saturday. Not even to take the dog for a walk. Never! And unless you have grown boobs and I am not talking about man boobs, there is no reason why you should go without socks. Women don’t need socks to wear Jimmy Choos. But, men, darling, they don’t make them in your size!

The Pocket Square- Is so manly! So sensitive! I will make myself cry so that a man could pull one out and hand it over to me. I won’t blow. You know that this is true cause I hate to blow anything!

Money Clip-Is so dashing! It is one of those peek-a-boo surprises. It is so unexpected. Leave the wivey and kiddies pics for the desk and if there are homely- for the drawer. I am kidding. It keeps everything slim on you. The only bulge on you should be in the front of your pants. But, wait! If you are wearing a really good suit, I should not see the bulge of your pants. I want to be kept guessing.

The Belt- I know that this may be so simple, but the amount of young men I see with their pants down under their bottoms, AND they are WEARING their belts. The audacity! Their momma needs to pull that belt from around their ass and beat them with it! Use a belt, me dear possum, and please make sure that it is matching!

Next time: Part Deux.

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