From Lucresia’s hospital bed as dictated to Ava Linton-Byron:
Is there an easier way to do a number two while men are in the other room?

Why, yes, thank-you.
Have a nurse give you a nice big thing of laxatives disguised as small little seeds. And because they are so small, you think to yourself that you can take more than what the FDA suggests. Just because you survived a car crash and think that you are invincible!
Top Drawer!

From Lucresia’s hospital bed as dictated to Ava Linton-Byron:
“Is this it? I thought I only dropped off one small bag?” asked my brother.
“You did. Those where all my essentials-my make-up, my Nick Lacheys, my eyelash curler, my Vogue. But, then Aunt Lorraine came with a bag of things I forgot; then Ava, Jim and Stupida dropped a few things off,” I replied non-chalantly.
“Are you sure you are going to be okay? I think that you are leaving way too early,” said my brother.
“Do you think they will miss the towels? …

From Lucresia’s hospital bed as dictated to Ava Linton-Byron:
My favorite phrase…right after “Mother Fucker”, “Bumbaclawt” and “But, of Course!”.
Introducing- “Top Drawer”
Meaning-Of the best quality;  currently used in high social standings this word carries a certain air about it.
Love it!
And in the social circles I hang in…well… they kept on asking me why did I keep referring to my underwear!

From Lucresia’s hospital bed as dictated to Ava Linton-Byron:
“Will you like some more drugs?” asked the nurse.
“Yes, please!”
“So what will it be Morphine or Percocet?” asked the nurse.
“Both, please!” I said.
“You can’t have both! One or the other,” stated the nurse.
“Hmmn…can you at least tell me which one has the better side effects, I mean the BAD side effects of each one?” I asked.
Top Drawer!
Possums, I am having a gay ole time in Shangri-la! I love everybody, especially my Jewish brother.
He has taught me about the struggle to the Promise …

From Lucresia’s hospital bed as dictated to Ava Linton-Byron:
I just received a blow job.
No seriously!
I got a blow by blow play of the season finale of Mad Men. 
Thank Christ for Ava!
They have T.V’s in here, but they ain’t got no AMC. I forgot all about the show, when someone reminded me.
I am having convulsions. At least I have my old Vanity Fair pictorial to keep me going until I get home.
There’s one thing though that I am going through while I am in here. I am not one to …

From Lucresia’s hospital bed as dictated to Ava Linton-Byron:
1. They say that there is strength in numbers, so gather around your family (only the ones that don’t get on your nerves) and talk. They will make you laugh, and are possibly the only ones that can cut  your soap box down to size.
2. Watch a lot of your favorite shows. For the time being, make it only the ones that make you laugh. And occasionally, don’t forget to include some movies that provide no stimulation at all. There will …

From Lucresia’s hospital bed as dictated to Ava Linton-Byron:
“So, did you bring the stuff?”
“Yeah, I got the stuff,” answered my brother.
“Did anyone see you carry it in?” I questioned.
“No, I kept it hidden under my jacket. You know that you owe me big time for this. I could have gotten in trouble with the hospital authorities if I got caught with the stuff!” he said.
“Listen, I have done without it for a long time and what they got in here is no where near what they have on the outside. …