Oh, Possums, I got into such a fright the other night.

Player, play on!

As you already know that I love to wear my slips a la Liz Taylor in Butterfield 8 around the house and to bed. And yes, even when I am typing to you, I wear my slips too, for those who need visuals. And along with my slips I wear sleep shades over my eyes. They have “DIVA” written on them.

Like I said, I got into a fright the other night. I was turning over when I thought I saw a sliver of something shining underneath the flaps of my sleep shades. Holy Hell! At first I thought it was a ghost, but then I figured, how? I have enough Frankincense and Myrrh burning through my house to scare off a whole army of them. And don’t forget that I already have sea salt sprinkled in all four corners of my house!

I slowly raised my sleep shades and saw a bright soft light. I knew this was it. But, I didn’t feel any pain. I knew that I took something to fall asleep. Okay, maybe a few things to help me sleep, but maybe it has finally caught up with me. I didn’t know if I should leap towards the light, or maybe that would seem too eager. Or, maybe I should walk towards it. But, then I thought I read somewhere that the light was supposed to surround you and raise you up as if you are levitating.

I was kind of excited, cause I was going to see Jesus! And then I know that we would have a long chat because I know that I had a lot of explaining to do.

So, I waited.

Then I waited.

And waited.

I didn’t think that I would have to wait this long to go up to heaven. I know that with the recent world events there might be a back-up or even a long line, but COMMON!

And then the soft light began to flicker…and then it turned RED!!!!

RED!!

RED!!!

RED!!!Bloody Hell you read right!

I threw myself into a panic! I don’t remember committing any real sins. I mean thou shall not lie. That one I broke a ka-jillion times, but I didn’t even break the one about coveting someone’s wife. I am not into frying fish these days. I am trying to cut back. I am on my Kate Moss Diet!

So what is a girl to do? I screamed.

And guess what?

After my friend-with-a-long-benefits had a mild coronary, he reached over his side of the bed and pulled out…his phone.

He let me know that his cell phone just finished charging, hence the red colour.

But, of course!

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