1.  Bring A Pad to Bed-Pads are not only for your monthly, my fair weather friend. Some of my best of ideas may have been on the toilet or when I am taking a shower, but God bless the gems that come to me when I am drifting off to sleep! Just had bad sex? This could turn into a nice list of what kind of partner you should look for next time. Please Note: Possums, wait until the poor basterd has left the bed! However, if you feel inspired to write and they asks, just say that you are working on your new grocery list. Shopping indeed!!! Feel an itch as you lie in bed? This could remind you to make sure to buy cotton underwear next time…and if you have an itch and you aren’t wearing any underwear…well, maybe you can use your pad to remind yourself to make that annual jaunt to the doctor’s sooner.  Egads!  The last thing I wrote down in the bed were all the reasons not to attend my mother’s Christmas dinner. Did I follow any of them? Non.  Should I? Maybe, but then what would I write on my pad next if I didn’t?

2.  Read inspirational stories about those you have widened and blazed the trails before you-Get into the habit of reading something inspiring every moment you can get. The Bible isn’t the only place that contains amazing stories in which we can get inspired from. I love a good “get up on a soap box” story. I think that it is one of the things that weaves us all together. When one person experiences something, we all do. Non? We can’t all follow in Jesus’ footsteps, but if we bring it down a ka-jillion notches we could follow the Oprah’s, the Bill Gates and the Bono’s of the world.

3.  Cuss-Oh, how I love to cuss! And what I like most about cussing, is that it doesn’t have to be an art form; it’s not perfect. You can say the most nonsensical things when you cuss and in many different dialects, too.  Cussing relieves stress and it also helps if you can share the cussing “incident” with others. But, make sure that it was called for. Don’t just cuss for the sake of cussing. It’s all about standing up for not only what is right, but what you believe in.

4.  Buy yourself a girdle…possibly with an ass attached to it- It takes a strong woman (or a man..well done you) to wear a very tight girdle, but it takes an even stronger one to wear a girdle that also contains a fake bottom. Literally.  Cause  girdles can be too tight! But, enough about moi. Possums, girdles hides one’s indulgences. Always. Even Lindsay Lohan wears one and she don’t need to! And if you really want to have a feel good moment, try wearing one with J-lo’s bottom attached and walk into the middle of a food court at a mall, and wait for all the hungry eyes. As Jesus has always said, “Men can’t live on just bread alone!” Hallelujah!

5. Spread your bed- Yes, you read that in bold! You would be surprised how many people don’t find the time to spread their bed…or just don’t want to.

Hello, am I just one of the only one?

I guess!

So, the cheese stands alone.

And for those that are not going to leave me hanging…seriously, when you look back at your bed all nicely done up and such, you already started your day with something accomplished. And the same goes for bedtime too. I love it when I put on fresh sheets before I go to bed, it helps me to sleep better. I feel like a new woman. You see, Possums, the throne is not the only place where one can feel like the queen of the world.

Note: Do you ever notice that it is on the days that you don’t spread the bed you get visitors? And these said visitors always find a way of going into your room to “use” the phone!

Top Drawer!

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