I am so glad to be rid of McDonald’s!

Never, ever had I ever had so much sausage meat inside of me, than I did all those times that I wrote to you from McDonald’s!

Well….

I missed home so much!

It felt so good to be recognized again for my color of skin when I went into a department store. To hear-“Security, please scan Housewares section” and to look around and realize that I was the only one there, brought tears of joy to my eyes!

To wake-up in the middle of the night and just bask in the glory of which is my vibrator, without worrying about any stray bullets or disgruntled drug lords. Here, in Canada, there is more than enough drugs for everyone! We have free health care!

To wake-up to the smell of bacon and eggs and not having to kick someone out of my bed, because I don’t feel like sharing, feels so good! No, telling how long it is going to take me to eat all that bacon, though. But, I’m a gonna!!!

To be able to not struggle to go to the toilet anymore is such a God-send!!! When I was in Philly I thought I was going to pass up a kidney stone, let alone a whole kidney. And there where times when I hovered over the toilet and looked back and thought I did.

And my Aunt S…

My incomparable Aunt S…

I even miss my Aunt S, who in the last morning I was there, put on a real show.  I was in her kitchen cooking bacon and kinda of started the most smallest of smallest grease fires.

Well, my Auntie S. ran in the kitchen and started screaming,”Fire, fire, everyone come quick! Someone get on the phone and call the Fire Department! Fire, fire!”

And I looked at her.

She looked at me.

My Uncle looked at her.

I again looked at her.

And she looked at the both of us.

And the fire burnt its way out.

Thank-you, Canada!

I would click my heels, but that would mean another $55.00 trip to the shoemaker to glue back its pieces.

The shoemaker and I have a close relationship.

He knows I like to wear heels in bed, while attempting daring feats!

I keep him in business, and he keeps his comments to himself.

There is no place like home!

Darn Tootin’!

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