So, remember that relative that was in the hospital for their hemorrhoids?

And remember how I was looking into how not to get the hemorrhoids?

And do you remember how I  was looking up about how to treat said hemorrhoids?

Well, Possums, I went and did it!

Did what?

Well, player read on!

You may find it hard to believe, but applying hemorrhoid cream delicately under the eye will help get rid of wrinkles. And they say that it is in your 20’s, that is the best time to begin using anti-aging products in order to prevent future wrinkles and damage. Mind you, I don’t think that the powers-that-be who pow-wow around the tables of Revlon and Loreal had this in mind, cause they are so rich that they probably pay someone to go to the bathroom for them.

It’s called the Junior Executive.

But could it be this easy? Maybe, I stumbled upon something that can really work.

I reasoned, I wipe my bottom with toilet paper, and I use it on my face, too.

I reasoned, I smother Vaseline on my bottom, so that it won’t get ashy, and I use it on my face, too.

I reasoned, I spray scented almond oil on my bottom, too keep it supple and inviting, and I use it on my face, too.

So, what’s good for the goose, is good for the gander!

I guess!

Hemorrhoid cream works because of its ingredients (yeast and liver oil) to help shrink the tissues, making the area appear tighter and firmer, minimizing any wrinkles that may have formed. Also, Hemorrhoid cream is a very good way to treat dark circles under the eyes.  It can help reduce puffiness.

Here’s what I did:

1. I washed and dried my face thoroughly. Ta Da!

2. I did a baking soda face mask.

And then I got pissed off at Ava cause she was making me laugh. And I didn’t want to laugh and crack the porcelain that was now my face, but then I thought to myself that suppose I can’t move my face, how would I explain that to the doctors in the Emergency room? It would probably be a hell of a lot harder than explaining why a gerbil ended up in my bottom, like Richard Gere did!

Note To Self: Ask my doctor if I got a gerbil in my bottom, would the gerbil stay alive? Knowing my doctor, he would probably ask-“what type of gerbil is it?”

Possums, please avoid getting any cream inside your eyelid! Not that it’s happened to me.

It’s just a for instance.

3. Make sure to wash and dry your face thoroughly, getting rid of any of the left over baking soda in the process.

4. And then I used my middle finger (Ha!) to dab a little hemorrhoid cream under my eyes. You don’t need a whole lot, just a small amount will do.

C’est Tout!

Possums, I just had a thought! Do you realize why this works on your face and your bottom! When was the last time you took a look at your bottom’s hole? Quick, take a quick trot to the bathroom and have a looksie. What do you find? Your anus has wrinkles around it!!!! It puckers like a really bad lip job on a young Hollywood starlet! So, it is bound to work…eventually.

But, of course!

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