Why, yes!

Thank-you…
At least that’s what you should say to make them feel better for shelling out $109.00!
Plus tax!

Possums, I had a bad dream.
Little Mr. Dapper Indian Man was chasing me, trying to flag me with his trousers down and his manhood out! Money was spewing out of his anus, as if I won at the slot machines! Little Mr. Dapper Indian Man was waving his pecker wood at me to take it and I just couldn’t. I wouldn’t!
It wasn’t the first time I turned down a penis.
Just in my dreams.
I called my Aunt, who lived close to where the incident took place. I had gone there immediately …

Possums, it is a shame when you look in the mirror and the image of you looks pregnant.
Talk about Mad Cow Disease!
Speaking of Mad Cow, I am on a new diet! It is called the Food Inc. diet! I have shunned everything that had a snout or big eyes with long eyelashes, before it hit my plate!
How Pamela Anderson of me!
I am especially avoiding all meat that has had a history of wrangling with another cock! And although we share the same history, of wrangling with cock, I am now …

Possums.
Oh, Possums.
Yesterday, I felt like a common whore!
I know that you are probably asking, “What day don’t she feel like one?”
Like hell I say to that!
Oh Possums, the day started off nice enough, calm even. I awoke and Ava made  myself a buttermilk pancake and a cup of espresso. The only thing I planned to do, was go out and test out mattresses.
Possums, did I tell you I need a new mattress?
I have worn out my mattress, to the point that I am starting to feel the springs, and I …

I think a Pygmy would make a fine boyfriend!
You see Possums, with Basketball players, their penises are usually long, but on the skinny side.
Baseball players, their penises are usually on the smaller, but muscular side.
Football players’ penises are usually on the tiny stubby side because the meat is mostly in their shoulders.
And Curling players’ penises are usually on the…well… you know they kind of curl.
To the right.
Depending what side they play on.
Not that I really know all this.
I was never a team player.
Have you seen my curves?
It is just …

Possums, being that it is still the recession et al, I wondered to myself if there was any way to save here, and like Italian men, pinch there.
The other day, I woke up late and Miss Ava and I decided to go to a local restaurant for the All- Day breakfast.  I know deep down inside that going to restaurants a lot is not responsible, money-wise. So Possums, I have taken to heating up left-overs. My breakfast restaurant left-overs, that is!  Well, I didn’t heat it up, but I made …

I know that the “Five Stages” are supposed to be helpful when dealing with grief.
But, I ask you, could that be applied to any type of grief?
Stage One-Denial
“Spinach, again?” I asked yesterday, as I watched Ava sit down with another plate of spinach in front of her.
Stage Two-Anger
This is getting ridiculous!
But, let me tell you how I could never get Miss Ava to eat even an ounce of spinach before, let alone look at it!
Possums, I don’t even think she likes the color green!  Now, don’t get me wrong, I …