Possums, you know when people talk to me about their children and tell me the funny things that they do? Well, my usual reply is always, “Ahhh, I missed that! That’s so cute!”

Well, never again!

I was asked to watch over my niece Danique while my sister took Ava and Dante out for some gourmet ice cream.

Possums, can I just say that Danique is tres adorable!

Like me!

But, unlike me, Danique likes surprises and if you know me Possums, I hate surprises!

I remember exactly where I was when my sister told me that her daughter liked to take off her diaper when she was about to do the do. I was at my own house!

Thank Christ!

At the time we had a good laugh, as I tried to convince my sister that it was cute.

Well, as I said before I had to baby-sit. I just focused my eyesight for what seemed like a second to watch the ending of a very inspiring television show, when I turned to look at Danique.

The girl had taken off her diaper and was standing over it!

“NO!” I screamed trying to scare her out of not doing anything. “You are not suppose to do that!”

Danique looked at me frightened. I picked her up so quickly, that I didn’t realize that she was still holding the diaper in her hand. Possums, she already made a deposit in the bank!

Dung was everywhere and my sister was going to kill me!

I thought that maybe I could play the sick card and tell her that I couldn’t pick it all up, but then how would I explain the fact that I was so into watching television that I didn’t notice that she had taken off her diaper? I had to come up with a plan and come up with it real quick, cause it ain’t take that long to come back from buying ice cream at Mickie Dees!

I gave Danique a quick bath, put on a new diaper and armed myself with a diaper wipe and started to frantically look around for stuff on the floor.

Possums, let me tell you that God is so good! I only found one piece!

Danique is backed up!

She is anal retentive!

Just like her grandmother!

Then I thought to myself that if she really WAS like her grandmother, then somehow she must definitely be full of shit, so I began looking for more.

Then I saw a kettle chip on the floor.

I remembered that Dante was eating them and must have dropped one. I reached down and picked up the chip, but it wasn’t a potato chip. It ended up being a piece of do-do.

Possums, all of the sudden the thing emulsified in my hands!

In my BARE hands!

Totally liquefied!

So, Possums, when is kettle chip not a kettle chip?

Possums, it never was.

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