Why yes!
Thank-you.
But, I am kinda of pissed off after I watching this cause I thought they were going to give me a proper preview of what is too come. And they didn’t!
And to think I worked myself up for nothing, just to be let down.

Felt like after having sex!

“Why are you walking like that?” I asked Ava.
We had just come back from one of my favorite place in the world-Wal-Mart. I was on a mission. A mission to buy a douche! I had just explained to Ava all the benefits and reasons for douching. Ava was intrigued. The last thing I remember was answering her question-“Do I douche before I bathe or after?” I told her that it doesn’t matter. I guess before.
You see Possums, I was going to a wedding on Saturday and every time I …

“I believe in miracles, where you from? You sexy thang…”my mother sang loudly with the song on the radio.
We were on the last leg of our drive back from a shopping trip in Buffalo and I was cranky and tired.
“You know you were never ever as hot as me, when I was young,” my mother proclaimed.
“Huh, huh,” I answered.
Ava, sitting in the passenger seat, looked nervously over to me with a smile. I smiled back.
“This reminds me of the time when I wore my Afro and my short mini dresses. …

I was having my morning espresso when Miss Ava plopped herself in front of me at the kitchen table.
“If something were to happen to you, I will be okay. I know how I am going to support myself,” she said looking at me.
“Oh, yeah? What do you plan to do?” I asked, taking another sip of my espresso.
“I’m a gonna open myself up a brothel,” she replied.
“Excuse you!”
Possums, she was dead serious.
You see every other Saturday morning, Ava likes to sit in front of her computer and look up old …

Why, yes!
Thank-you.
My parents came over for dinner and all of the sudden it went quiet.
“Why is there a half-naked white woman on your fridge?” asks my mother.
“That Capitane, is Helen Mirren and she is there to help me lose weight,” I answered.
“How is having this woman on your fridge going to help you lose weight?” she asked.
“She is only sixty-four years old,” I answered.
We all turned around to look at the picture from our seats.
“Isn’t she older than you?” asked my dad as he looks at my mother.
My mother looked …

Why, yes!
Thank-you…
At least that’s what you should say to make them feel better for shelling out $109.00!
Plus tax!

Possums, I had a bad dream.
Little Mr. Dapper Indian Man was chasing me, trying to flag me with his trousers down and his manhood out! Money was spewing out of his anus, as if I won at the slot machines! Little Mr. Dapper Indian Man was waving his pecker wood at me to take it and I just couldn’t. I wouldn’t!
It wasn’t the first time I turned down a penis.
Just in my dreams.
I called my Aunt, who lived close to where the incident took place. I had gone there immediately …