Possums, have you ever let out a primal scream?
Really let out a Primal Scream?
I am not talking about screaming out during sex, cause you should never let out a Primal Scream during sex cause then he will lose his erection!  And not only shame on him, but shame on you too!  I am talking about a primal scream so loud, that it could only come from getting back to the basics. A scream that could be heard across rooftops and as far away as the heavens, so much so that …

And to think I used it first as a wall hanging and then as a room divider!
I didn’t even realize that it had other uses.
Possums, it is going back on my bedroom door, so that I can entice lovers with!
I just hope it don’t get stuck up nowhere! Which may not be a bad thing cause then he can go fish it out!
But, of course!

I have just discovered a get-out-of things-that-I-don’t-feel-like-doing-during-sex-free card!
Historically, women have told men, “Not tonight dear, I have a headache.”
Honestly, it was on an episode of “Little House on the Prairie”!
But, Possums, I am not like most women.  Cause we all know that, “Not tonight dear, I have a headache” don’t always go over too well; that men will keep on nagging you to sleep with them, so you do just to shut them up!
Not that this has happened to me.
It is just a for instan…okay, …

Possums.
Oh, Possums.
Yesterday, I felt like a common whore!
I know that you are probably asking, “What day don’t she feel like one?”
Like hell I say to that!
Oh Possums, the day started off nice enough, calm even. I awoke and Ava made  myself a buttermilk pancake and a cup of espresso. The only thing I planned to do, was go out and test out mattresses.
Possums, did I tell you I need a new mattress?
I have worn out my mattress, to the point that I am starting to feel the springs, and I …

I think a Pygmy would make a fine boyfriend!
You see Possums, with Basketball players, their penises are usually long, but on the skinny side.
Baseball players, their penises are usually on the smaller, but muscular side.
Football players’ penises are usually on the tiny stubby side because the meat is mostly in their shoulders.
And Curling players’ penises are usually on the…well… you know they kind of curl.
To the right.
Depending what side they play on.
Not that I really know all this.
I was never a team player.
Have you seen my curves?
It is just …

Possums, being that it is still the recession et al, I wondered to myself if there was any way to save here, and like Italian men, pinch there.
The other day, I woke up late and Miss Ava and I decided to go to a local restaurant for the All- Day breakfast.  I know deep down inside that going to restaurants a lot is not responsible, money-wise. So Possums, I have taken to heating up left-overs. My breakfast restaurant left-overs, that is!  Well, I didn’t heat it up, but I made …

Possums, would you like to know what happens when you leave an impressionable child
for one hour with a cantankerous woman?
Well, player read on.
I was on the topic of discussing the upkeep of a woman’s vagina and whatnot’s to Ava, when Miss Ava lets me know that my mother had already explained it to her.
Possums, you know that when an extremely old and wise lady, such as my mother, bestows wisdom upon the population, inquiring minds want to know.
So, I was like, “Do share!”
“Well, you know how God made Adam right?” …